Alistair Semmence

MY APPROACH

I work with individuals and with couples and relationships. In either case, the heart of the work is about paying close attention to patterns of connection, protection and disconnection and creating enough safety for something new to emerge. We’ll work at a pace shaped by what feels manageable for you, while respecting the ways you’ve learned to survive. We’ll also notice how experiences show up emotionally and physically, working in a way that supports regulation rather than overwhelm.

If you’re coming on your own, therapy will involve examining and understanding patterns in your life and relationships. This might include experiences of not feeling fully seen or understood, the impact of difficult or overwhelming experiences, or questions of identity, belonging or direction. Alongside what you bring to talk about, we’ll pay attention to how you experience our relationship, as this often reflects patterns developed in earlier relationships. This can offer important clues about how you’ve learned to relate, how you protect yourself, and what feels possible or difficult in connection.

If you’re coming as a couple or relationship, the focus shifts to what happens between you. This work isn’t limited to romantic partners. I also work with friendships, family and professional relationships, as well as other connections that play an important role in your life. Rather than trying to find out who is right or wrong, we’ll look at how you move towards and away from one another. We’ll notice how disagreements unfold, where misunderstandings arise and where things tend to get stuck. Our work is about slowing the conversation down and helping each person feel heard. We’ll also consider how earlier experiences shape how you relate to each other now.

My approach is relational, trauma-informed and existential, shaped by liberation psychology. I see many of the ways we struggle as understandable responses to what we have lived through. Our lives and relationships are shaped not only by personal history but by wider systems of power and inequality, including race, gender, sexuality, class, disability and neurodivergence. These forces shape how safe, visible and valued we feel in the world. I try to understand people’s struggles and strengths as responses to the conditions they’ve had to navigate. Therapy can offer a space to move beyond survival and towards a more connected and fulfilling way of living. Over time, new experiences of safety, understanding and connection can open up different ways of relating to yourself and others.